I sit here tonight with such clarity as to what I want to communicate. I have been doing the One Year Bible Study online. I often struggle with what I want to read for a given day or week and decided that this would be a good tool. I have heard good things about the book. As some of you know I am on the computer most of the day for work, so the online version just seemed the better fit.
You know those times when you feel a little down, or a bit discouraged and you pick up the word and you feel like you just got your butt kicked all over again??....I just had one of those moments. I know that these feelings are not what the Lord has intended, I know that through these feelings I receive strength and clarity through His support...but good gracious, sometimes is still "smarts" as my grandmother would say. So what did I read? Isaiah 29. Now, I know that the first part of the book of Isaiah is about judgment, but it does show amazing sides of God's grace towards man in the later chapters. Below are the verses for today from my study:
Isaiah 29: 13-16 from The Message
13-14The Master said:
"These people make a big show of saying the right thing,
but their hearts aren't in it.
Because they act like they're worshiping me
but don't mean it,
I'm going to step in and shock them awake,
astonish them, stand them on their ears.
The wise ones who had it all figured out
will be exposed as fools.
The smart people who thought they knew everything
will turn out to know nothing."
15-16Doom to you! You pretend to have the inside track.
You shut God out and work behind the scenes,
Plotting the future as if you knew everything,
acting mysterious, never showing your hand.
You have everything backward!
You treat the potter as a lump of clay.
Does a book say to its author,
"He didn't write a word of me"?
Does a meal say to the woman who cooked it,
"She had nothing to do with this"?
Holy Crap right?! Haha, maybe it doesn’t read as strongly for you as it does for me. However, recently we have been going through a very trying, uncertain season in our lives here in our home. We are having to rely solely on the Lord for things that we otherwise have had "control" of. I have been walking around spouting all of the right words. "The Lord will provide." "This is just a season." "I trust." All the while, I am desperately playing some sort of tug-a-war with the Lord over my life. Things such as job security. I've always been blessed with a great job that provides. I have never had to "pray" for the right job, it was always just waiting for me. Now, as I am job hunting in the worst market of my generation, I find myself having to "trust" that the right one is around the corner. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe He has the right job out there for me, but I also believe that the Lord wants me to hit the pavement and find it. However, if I truly trust him, why does the worry keep me up at night? When I read this verse, I realized that when it comes to MY life I say all the right things to make people think all is well. I say all the things that are expected of me.....but do I believe them? Of course I do. However, to be honest it is a whole lot easier for my heart to believe them than my brain. I know in my heart His promise, but why do I still want to have control? Am I the only one who struggles with this? I cry out one night "Lord, show me what you have for me." The very next morning I will pray "Lord, I really want _____." I can’t think of any witty way close out this post :) I know I am not the only one who has these struggles, that is what is comforting. I have found the only thing that can help is to "turn off" my life. I have to turn off the TV, take out my iPod buds, shut down my laptop and be still. As I read on in Isaiah much of my stress disappears as I am comforted, once again by Him:
Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
