When I had my son I knew there would be several things about being a mother that would stump me. How to get them to sleep through the night? What will our punishment system be? When is the right time to potty train? These are just examples of things that I knew were coming. The surprising part is how many little things that I never imagined would arise! Things I seriously I cant find an answer to. Enter....the white crayon. How exactly do you explain to a 2 year old why he cant see the white crayon on the white paper when he colors with it? He continues to bring it to me and continues to ask "Mama Please?" or "Choo-choo?" Yes, I have found my undiscovered talent...drawing choo-choos for my son on pretty much any piece of paper, mail envelop or Papa Johns flyer! After many failed attempts I have found the only answer that he will accept - "It's broken." Go ahead, judge me :) If you have a better answer that he will accept I am open to suggestions. I started to think about the simplicity of the real answer, yet struggle with the communication to get there. I am amazed at how many times this happens in our lives. Why is it that we have such a hard time communicating? I know that there are situations that dont warrant anything but a hug or a "I'm here for you." But what about the tough ones?
I am blessed to have an amazing husband that I communicate better with than any other person in my life. We have a great system, as long as I dont yell he will listen....or pretend to! All kidding aside, how is it that I can communicate so well with someone I have only known for 10 years, but cant seem to tell my sister that she has seriously ticked me off? Why is it hard for me to point out to a friend something that would no doubt make her life easier?
I used to think the answer to the dilemma was simply that I didnt want to hurt someones feelings. I've decided that it is BS! I spend many an hour with students or church members that are going through issues or want advice and I have no problem laying it out for them. The ironic part about this is that my family or best friends know me and understand me, thus hopefully forgiving any offense. However, when you take the church member I have only know for a short period of time, I risk the chance of offending her forever. Does this seem backwards to anyone else?
I was recently listening to a sermon from a pastor back in South Carolina. He was preaching about extreme faith. His message really rocked my world. He pointed out that in many areas of our lives we have decided which level of faith we assign to each situation. It got me thinking. Yes, I believe that when asked for advice from someone, the Lord has or will give me the correct words to help this particular person. That is extreme faith. However, when I see a friend or loved one doing something I feel that I can speak into, I shy away and think something along the lines of "when the time is right." Although, I do agree that timing is everything, who is to say that the time of the action or feeling isnt the exact time I should reach out?...Where is my extreme faith here? It is insecurity because I dont feel that I am qualified? Am I too concerned with making them mad? Here is a big one.....Am I afraid of what they may point out in return? (enter what I call the "eek" face!)This stuff works both ways! Unfortunately, it's like a gift...better to give than receive!
Anyone who has had any type of relationship knows how important communication is. To me, its the number one priority. What I have to remind myself is no matter how hard the situation is we cannot shy away from it. If I am upset with someone, I may forgive later. However, if I never address the previous issue it will continue to happen over and over. Keep in mind, that when communicating with someone about an offense...most likely they have NO idea. For example, 2 weeks ago my husband told the whole church I was going on a diet. Yep, me front row, size 10...mortified! Now, not only do I have myself to worry about tracking my progress, I also have an entire church to "help" me reach my goal. If you think church women have a lot of opinions on breast feeding, tell them you are dieting. You will NEVER get out of the sanctuary! After church I had to explain to my husband that although he was showing that he supports me and is proud of me, he also kinda ticked me off! He seriously had no idea!
Lord, help us to be better communicators. Please help us to know when and how to help our loved ones. Help us with the words to approach someone who has hurt us, or offended us in some way, that we may effectively talk things through. That we come to a solution through mutual love, understanding and respect. Help us to be better communicators so that we can be better images of you!
P.S.....I have removed all white crayons from the box!
